Ah, I seldom know what to put in these things. It's not bad enough that when you need a shoulder to cry on, sometimes the thing you want least is telling the entire world about it; especially when it involves the feelings of another person.

Suffice it to say, someone did something that I never in a million years thought they would do to me...not sure why, because they DID do something similar (and much worse) to someone else. Just how daft do I have to be to think I'm spayshul. Bleah.

Then again, maybe I'm right (about the 'special') thing.

Ah, well. Tomorrow is another day.

My first son was born on 4/14/89 at 4:14 PM. He came into the world after my first H and I had been married almost 12 years. We both married at age 19.

After being without positive pressure oxygen and breathing on his own only 8 hours out of 10.5 days, an abdominal and later heart surgery, he passed away in the early hours of April 25, 1989. They later said he had a 3 chambered heart, and his death was a combination metabolic shutdown (was unable to keep his sodium/potassium/electrolytes in balance) no doubt precipitated by his heart problem and weakened state from 2 surgeries and being born all within a week and a half, and weighing 4.5 lbs born at 37 weeks.

Some years are better than others. Due to the circumstances, this is not one of the good years so far. During the 10.5 days between his birthday and deathday, I am again on the rollercoaster, a new one with more dips than I've had in a long time.

(((Happy Birthday Son)))